The rupture

Trapped in another thought he was all by himself at least not with his girl, and with any guy he met, he was a loner, not knowning what the real world is about, his mind was freeze and the ideas repressed, his heart was on fire, and the water was gone. Until he met her, the most strangest girl. Her past? full of darkness, her present? full of "light". Having fun? having it a lot, laughing and screaming, hugging and kissing. Happy? everyone said it, but dying on the inside. Nobody understand her, nobody but him. Her radiant eyes matched with his beatiful smile, her funny personality matched with his depressive character. All in one, one are them. They were from each other, every moment, every day, every minute, every second. He cares more about her than more about himself. Always listening, always talking and when they weren´t together they knew it, they felt, the other one was there. Their bounds were to great, their minds were to closed, it was.. too good to be true. EXACTLY! nothing can be like that sadly, and the rainstorm came, washing everything away, dividing them in two, in the girl and the boy, in the loner and the stranger, in one way or the other, they were isolated from each other, vanishing the past, washing it away, wishing it could stay, for a long time. Her heart was devasted, his heart was break, her light in those great eyes were turned off, and his smile was gone, for a long time. Now everything was different. They were like two complete foreigners, founding themselves lost, but in a singular situation. His world now was of hate dreams and nightmares, chasing and consuming him. Troubles, problems, hatred, not knowing, was all that he found. All what he could find. Wanting to find himself. Her world, on the other hand, was of confusion and depressions, tempting the light, hiding in the dark, with no intention to know herself, to find herself. Just wanting to escape, and the escape was blockade. Finally, she found the exit, and the happiness invade her, but he found the exit too, and he decide to get lost, to get away, to find a place, a place where he can be alone. But what he didn´t know is that the place where he wanted to be, is death, and that is not an option. So he stayed there and she came back, and the reality gave her a stab in the back, very very hard, very very deep. It seemed unreal, but it wasn´t. Crazy looking for him, crazy trying to find him, wishing that he would want to come back, near to herself again, but his smile turn to dissapointment and his willing to come back turn to ashes. He wanted a time for himself, what a long time he got!!! But I´m sure that when he will want to come back, if he does, she will be there, waiting for him, waiting for that smile, and her eyes will turn on again, but this story will be repeat anyway....

Temptation

A demon inside myself, driving me insane, tempting my whole body, taking me to the path of evil, for some reason a find it kind of right, for some reason I thought it was fine. Is like he went inside my body and started playing with me, freezing my heart turning it to an ice, with no intentions to have feelings now, is like he takes my organs and put them beside me, so I will be able to see them, to take them, to break them, in order to make people wish they’re dead. Nobody knows what I’m capable of, now that I’m not truly myself, I’m standing in a tornado of bad thoughts, with a demon on me, he plays his little tricks making me want more, more evilness, more badness, more wrong paths. It’s like an addiction. I find it like a temptation, a temptation that will not go away. Never, because it is in me, inside myself, and that demon now is part of me. I looked myself on the mirror and I didn’t recognize me, I saw another person, not me. My eyes full of tears, my head full of thoughts and my heart full of feelings. That was the hardest moment I could ever had. Miserable doomed, strangely cursed, magically wounded. The things I had are now lost, the things I felt mine and are now gone. Wishing everyone bad things, without something to look forward too, just the devil, the devil, the devil. The only thing that is left for me is the dehumanized dream of the fire burning in the world. The same fire that consumes everyone turning them into ashes, walking around circles without expecting someone to pay attention to me, I found myself crazy, crazy for real. Everything that I had live before was completely false. I was just "dreaming", I was just imagining it. And now when I look myself on the mirror I see myself, yes I do, but a fake me. Oh! What a sad thing...